First of all, if you’re not involved in the BookTube community on YouTube and are following me for some other reason, this post is probably just going to be confusing. Honestly, even if you are involved in the BookTube community this might be confusing. I just really need to say a few things and I feel like making a video about it really isn’t going to help the problem.

So there’s been some drama. It started out small, but then quickly snowballed, as dramas are wont to do. I really don’t want to give a big recap of everything that happened because a) this whole situation has already gotten out of control and I don’t want to add any more fuel to the fire and b) things some other people have said in response to the drama have led me to believe that there were a few things that happened that I didn’t see, and I don’t want to try and explain exactly what happened if I don’t have the full story. I realize how frustrating it is to hear cryptic discussions of drama when you don’t already know what happened, but I’m afraid that’s how it has to be. I’ve already been really irresponsible about this and I don’t want to make it worse.

Here’s the gist of what went down on my end:

• Someone I’m not subscribed to posted a video
• I saw the video and disagreed with some of the things that were stated in it
• I started talking with some friends on twitter about it
• …Things got out of hand

I really regret the part that I took in this. At the time I was upset because there were things that were said in that particular video felt like attacks on the way I run my channel even though I know that they weren’t directed at me. I took it personally when there was absolutely no need to take it personally.

Looking back at my twitter feed there are a few things that I said in the heat of the moment that were unfair and frankly just mean. I deeply and genuinely apologize if something I said hurt anyone or made anyone uncomfortable. I said those things without thinking and that was wrong and I’m sorry. But even if I hadn’t said anything inflammatory, I would still be apologizing. Because when it comes right down to it, I shouldn’t have said anything at all. I made things worse and I should have known better. I do know better, and I should have listened to the niggling little voice in my head that said to just let it go.

(Also, side note, but can we all just agree that Twitter is a terrible place to have these kinds of discussions? Both because it’s public and because there’s not enough space to make any kind of nuanced point. If we can only take one thing away from this, it should be that.)

I just feel like this whole situation has left a really bad taste in a lot of people’s mouths and I feel awful about that. Because you guys, I adore this community. I love it so, so much. The thing that attracted me to the BookTube in the first place (besides, you know, the whole YAY LET’S ALL TALK ABOUT BOOKS factor) was how supportive and wonderful and just plain nice everybody was. And I feel like I put that amazing, positive atmosphere that we’ve cultivated in jeopardy and I hate that feeling. This community is great and I want it to stay great.

And now I’m shutting up. This post is the last time I’m going to make any kind of public comment about this. This damn thing needs to die, and I’m not giving it any more life.

My new policy is strict non-involvement in these kinds of shenanigans. And anything that looks like it might become these kinds of shenanigans. If you see me commenting on something like this in the future, yell at me. I just want to concentrate on myself and on being a good person and on making the most excellent videos that I can possibly make.

In conclusion:

• Think about the things you say before you say them
• Think about whether or not those things you’re thinking about saying even need to be said at all
• You don’t have to agree with anybody, but you also don’t have to be a dick about it
• Try to be nice to people
• Apologize when you fuck up
• Make stuff that you love

I love you all a lot. I hope we’re all cool after this.